the first step. always the hardest part

I consider myself to be one of those people who are not very feminine. I don’t really fit into the mold of the norm of women (or perhaps more accurate : GIRLS) my age. I’m not in a rush to jump start my relationship into a permanent commitment just yet, I’m not constantly hinting/nudging for a proposal, and most important of all, I don’t want all that YET.

Growing up, like all girls, I fantasized about weddings. But in retrospect, it was always the wedding, and not necessarily the marriage that I fantasize about. Why so? Well obviously, in weddings the girl always get to be the star of the day, all dolled up and perched on the stage like a doll. But marriage, is a whole other story.

Maybe it’s my family history, maybe my inability to build stable and sustainable relationships, but I haven’t pictured myself in a marriage ever.

This sudden realization that someday I too may want to take part in a marriage, puts me in a very strange position. While other girls may have been planning and preparing for it since kindergarten, I know ZERO.

So as my friends start to embark one by one on their journeys to domestic bliss, I’m still here. However, I can’t help to be a little reflective on what I WOULD do (note the future tense) if I were in that stage of life. So this will probably be a crash course of me, getting to know myself and my preferences on the topic (and all the little details that come with it).

Wedding stuff, relationships, making a home, child rearing and all that jazz, here I come.

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