Great Expectations

Expectations are a very scary thing for me.

OK, wait, tunggu dulu, jangan mulai mengucapkan kalimat2 macam “hidup itu tidak bermakna tanpa harapan”, “manusia tidak boleh kehilangan kemampuannya untuk bermimpi”, dan bla bla bla lainnya… gue bukan membicarakan tentang harapan yang ITU. not hope. but expectations.

mimpi-mimpi gue (sampai saat ini) masih tersimpan rapi dalam sebuah kotak di belakang otak gue, menunggu suatu saat dilepaskan dan mengkristal jadi kenyataan. tapi yang gue bicarakan adalah ekspektasi gue atas berbagai hal kecil, setiap belokan tanjakan dan turunan mungil dalam keseharian gue.

hal2 semacam ketika gue ada janji kencan sama teman2 kuliah tercinta di sudirman, sedangkan gue mengkalkulasi bahwa perjalanan karawaci-sudirman memakan waktu sekitar 1 jam sehingga gue bisa bertemu mereka jam 7. tapi ternyata jakarta menginjak2 ekspektasi itu dengan memunculkan kawan lamanya bernama KEMACETAN di saat yang sangaaaatttttt tidak tepat dan membuat gue ingin berubah jadi KINGKONG supaya bisa mengangkangi kemacetan itu dan tiba di tempat tepat waktu. ekspektasi2 kurang penting semacam itulah pokoknya yang gue bicarakan.

So that’s why I say that expectations are a very scary thing for me. Because when they start to fly, they go all the way. UP. (which, of course, makes the fall down reaaaalllllyyy painful).

I have ‘learned’ along the years to stop expecting certain things from certain people or situations. To no avail. When it all comes down to it, I’m such an emotional masochist.

I see the sprout of an expectation, and quick as a flash I start to give it wings. Not just regular flying wings, but super big angel wings, along with a turbo jet booster with NOS so it can fly fast-and-furiously up up and away. Launch ’em up into space, just to go careening all the way down in smithereens.

People just never learn. Me in particular.

Let’s hope I change….oh, the irony…

4 thoughts on “Great Expectations

  1. agreed. expectation really is a scary thing. it gets you down, really down sometimes, when things dont turn out as you wanted and wished them to be. ooh, and i wanna say, nice writings you have here, really inspiring🙂

    • @ DwD : thank youuuu… salam kenal yah, senangnya mendapat temanteman baru lewat blog ini… aku tadi mampir2 di tempatmu sebentar, luculucu juga topiknya. anyway, YOU HAVE TO SEE BEFORE SUNRISE… tidak se’sepi’ before sunset.🙂

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